The Art Of Coaching

E210 | Assertiveness: How to Ask for What You Want and Get What You Need

Assertiveness is key to getting what we want and/or need, but getting it wrong can cost us tremendously…

“When we push too hard, or in an ineffective way, our counterparts may resist giving us the material outcomes we want or our relationships might fray. When we do not push hard enough, we fail to have our own needs met and risk undermining our own well‐being.” (Ames, 2008)

So what do we do when we rely on assertion to get to our desired outcome but each person we interact with will define, interpret and react to it differently?

On today’s episode we break down:

• What is assertiveness and how does it differ from aggressiveness?
• How can we properly align our assertive behavior with the situation?
• The bright side of assertiveness we’ve been neglecting 
• What (if any) is the difference in assertiveness for females vs. males?
• Tactics and strategies for being more assertive

Speaking of assertiveness… We’ve been getting a lot of questions recently about how to improve communication in personal relationships. While much of what we share pertains to improving our professional communication skills, all of these same tactics can and should be applied at home. 

If you want a place to practice having a hard conversation with your parents, negotiating with your kids or even just relating better to your spouse, come to our Apprenticeship communication workshops- our next one is in Des Moines, Iowa (April 9-10th). You can also check out where else we’ll be going by going to artofcoaching.com/events

Today’s episode is brought to you by two of our partners: 

Dynamic Fitness & Strength: If you’re in the market for affordable, customizable equipment with customer service that won’t be beat, these are your guys. Their team has over 160 years of coaching experience so they obviously know what coaches and athletes want / need; When you’re ready to build that dream facility, or just upgrade your home gym head to mydynamicfitness.com and tell them the Art of Coaching Team sent you. 

VersaClimber: Some people might have a love-hate relationship with these guys but we have a LOVE-LOVE relationship with them. No matter the type of athlete, when it comes to low impact, full body conditioning- there’s not a more efficient piece of equipment out there. Make sure to check them out at versaclimber.com and again, tell them we sent you!

E209 | Lacey Jai Henderson: Beating Cancer, Betting On Yourself & Re-Defining Disability

We like to say meanings are in people, not in words. 

That statement never seemed more true than in reference to today’s guest, Lacey Jai Henderson. After losing her leg to Synovial Sarcoma at 9, Lacey has worked to rewrite the script for people living with disability everywhere. 

Following a Division I athletic scholarship for cheerleading, Lacey started competing in Paralympic Track and Field. Through a long journey of therapy, finding resilience and a lot of time on the track, she became an American Record Holder and a Rio Paralympian. In addition to working as a disability advocate, Lacey is getting her Master's in Sport and Performance Psychology and pursuing her CMPC certification while still training full time for paralympic track and field.

We cover: 

• Maneuvering life changing and/or impossibly hard conversations 
• How to use/approach ever-changing terminology with adaptive/disabled individuals
• Discovering underlying drives and communicating your preferred coaching style
• Why a dark sense of humor can become an important survival technique 

Connect with Lacey:

• Via her podcast: Picked Last in Gym Class 
• Via her social media: @laceyisyourfriend (IG), @laceyisyourfriend (Twitter)
• Via her website: https://laceyjhenderson.com/

And a big shout out to the sponsor of today’s episode LMNT. LMNT is our go-to hydration product. With no sugar and no additives, LMNT is how I manage to maintain my voice when speaking for 16 hours and traveling every other weekend of the year. Right now, they are offering you a free 8-flavor sample pack (just pay $5 shipping) if you go to drinkLMNT.com/aoc!

Support for today’s episode also comes from Dynamic Fitness & Strength. Dynamic offers the highest quality strength and conditioning equipment designed just for you, your space and your budget. Whether you’re looking to outfit your college, high school or professional gym or even just your garage, check out our friends at Dynamic and tell them Team AoC sent you!

We all know public speaking is one of the biggest fears people have; “What would I talk about?” “What if people don’t care?”, “How do I select my approach?” Let us give you confidence, clarity and a community of other people who can help you figure this out. 

If you’re ready to get guidance and you want practice speaking so you can be seen as a subject matter expert in your space, or just better at pitching your ideas, check out artofcoaching.com/speaker for dates and info!

E208 | Robert Greene: Mastering Human Nature & Facing Your Flaws

“True genius, in strategy or anywhere, lies in self-control, self-mastery, presence of mind, and fluidity of thought.” - Robert Greene 

When it comes to the study of human nature, power dynamics and social intelligence, there’s perhaps no one more knowledgeable than Robert Greene. 

Collectively, his 7 (soon to be 8) books have sold more than 20 million copies, and along the way he’s consulted countless world leaders, athletes, politicians and celebrities. 

By scouring human history to understand patterns of behavior, he’s developed the unique ability to take incredibly complex and rich subject matter and whittle it down to key learnings that are relatable, tactical and applicable.  

In this interview, we ask Robert what role communication, self-awareness and social intelligence played in not only his own life but also the historical figures he has dedicated his life to studying. 

We cover:

1. Tips for navigating the messiness of the human condition 
2. Behind the scenes of his new book, The Law of The Sublime 
3. Applying higher level strategy in sports and business 
4. The critical communication skill every coach must prioritize 
5. How our obsession with technology impacts our communication 

 Connect with Robert Greene: 

Via his website / buy his books: https://www.robertgreene.co/

Via his social media: https://linktr.ee/Robertgreene

In this episode, you heard Brett and Robert talk about our live 2 day communication workshop - The Apprenticeship. If you’ve ever wanted to see how you come across to others, learn how to ethically influence people, navigate power dynamics and develop a strategy or approach for solving conflict or having hard conversations- join us! You can find more information and upcoming dates/locations HERE. 

Also, if you want to download a FREE personal finance guide & interview with my father (a financial advisor of 40 years), go to artofcoaching.com/money. We cover the foundations of investing, saving, debt, credit and more! 

We’d also like to thank our sponsors for this episode - Dynamic Fitness and Strength & Momentous. If you’re in the market for the most customizable and affordable gym equipment- tell our guys at Dynamic we sent you. If you’d like cleanest and best tasting protein and supplements on the market, use code BRETT25 at checkout!

E207 | How Perception Impacts Communication & Relationships

Truly objective perception isn’t just difficult, it’s nearly impossible. That means everyday, despite your best efforts, people will interpret your actions, words, and behaviors differently than you intended. 

It’s the same reason why there are Michelin star restaurants certain people love and others hate; Nobel prize winners some revere and others think are a hack. 

While we can’t control people’s perceptions, the more we understand them, the more we can influence them… 

Today’s episode is all about acknowledging and appreciating the multitude of factors that affect perception so we can bridge the gap with our communication and work to prevent unnecessary misunderstandings. 

We cover:

• The 8+ variables affecting perception & how to identify them
• The ONLY tool that can help bridge a perceptual gap  
• The Better Than Average Effect + Theory of Mind: why they matter
• Two ESSENTIAL questions to ask when you’ve been misunderstood 

As mentioned in this episode, if you’re looking for more reading on perception, check out this previously redacted article: Mokusatsu: One Word, Two Meanings.

And If you’ve made it this far, let’s give a huge shoutout to our incredible sponsors and upcoming events! 

1. Dynamic Fitness & Strength is our premier sponsor and go-to supplier of strength equipment. Not only do they have custom options, the fastest turnaround times and most affordable packages, they waste the least amount of material of any equipment company out there. Reach out to them at Mydynamicfitness.com and tell them the AoC team sent you!
2. To support our other sponsors- Momentous, VersaClimber, LMNT, SAGA, & Ice Barrel check out their unique offers for the AoC community at artofcoaching.com/partners.

As for what we have coming up! 

1. Brand Builder Workshop - If you’ve ever wanted to create something of your own, or have ever thought: “How can I help more people?”- this 2 day workshop is for you. Your brand isn’t about selling something, it’s about refining how you relate to others.

Join us March 19-20th, 2022 and let us help you make a difference by scaling your voice, increasing your impact and getting your message out. Visit artofcoaching.com/brand for more information. 

2. Speaker School - We all know public speaking is one the biggest fears people have; “What would I talk about?” “What if people don’t care?”, “How do I select my approach?” Let us give you confidence, clarity and a community of other people who can help you figure this out. 

If you’re ready to get guidance and you want practice speaking so you can be seen as a subject matter expert in your space, or just better at pitching your ideas, check out artofcoaching.com/speaker for dates and info!

E206 | How to Tell Your Partner You Want to Quit Your Job

You’ve been fantasizing about quitting or changing jobs for months and now you’re ready; Making that leap doesn’t scare you, it excites you. The thought of creating something from nothing or joining a team that’s building something from the ground up has driven you to go from fantasizing to finally pulling the trigger. But there is one thing about quitting the job that puts butterflies in your stomach and gives you pause…

Convincing your spouse that now is the time. 

In today's episode, we’ll break down this uncomfortable conversation and give you a simple framework so you can have a more productive discussion with your partner. 

Liz, Brett’s wife, also joins the podcast and interjects her real-life feelings and experiences from when Brett had this conversation with her.  

You’ll learn:

1. How to formulate the conversation to relate to your spouse's experiences 

2. How to time the conversation so it doesn’t come as a surprise to your spouse 

3. Why you can’t simply explain your way through this conversation 

As a bonus at the end of this episode, Brett and Liz use role playing to practice one permutation of this conversation so you can see how the conversation might play out.

Quick shout-out to our podcast partner LMNT. LMNT is our go-to hydration product. With no sugar and no additives, LMNT is how I manage to maintain my voice when speaking for 16 hours and traveling every other weekend of the year. Right now, they are offering you a free 8-flavor sample pack (just pay $5 shipping) if you go to drinkLMNT.com/aoc!

Today’s episode is also brought to you by Dynamic Fitness & Strength. Dynamic is our title sponsor and our go-to equipment guys. If you need anything for your home or full-sized gym- they offer the most affordable, customizable, durable equipment on the market.

Also our partner Momentous: For those looking for the cleanest, best tasting protein and supplements on the market, Momentous is my choice. Their products are for athletes as well as individuals who just want to ensure they are getting enough protein in their diet. Code: BRETT25 gets you 25% off your first order. 

Finally, we are hosting a brand new event, the Art of Coaching Speaker School this May (28-29th) in Atlanta GA. If you’re interested in improving your speaking skill for any situation or capacity, this is the place to do it. We’ll be breaking down how to create a powerful message, how to tailor it to a specific audience and make sure it’s not only heard, but understood. Check out artofcoaching.com/speaker for more!

E205 | Strategies for Becoming a Memorable & Dynamic Speaker

I can almost guarantee that at some point in your life, you’ll need or want to speak persuasively to a group of people. 

Perhaps you’re pitching investors for more money, asking supervisors for a raise, presenting at a national conference or coaxing your kids to bed. 

Regardless of the situation, your ability to refine a message, understand your audience and deliver information in a way that will not only captivate but move them to action is one of the most important skills you can have in your toolbox. 

On today’s episode, Brett and Ali will share their best strategies for finding your voice, understanding your audience and clarifying that message so that you can confidently make the impact you seek.

You’ll learn: 

• The 6 questions you need to ask yourself about before you deliver any talk 

• The 3 tips to grabbing your audience's attention and holding it throughout 

• The 1 thing easily forgotten in a talk that will limit the impact you desire 

Speaking of speaking… We have some EXCITING NEWS!

If you’d like help with any of the things mentioned in this episode including but not limited to refining your message, building your speaking skill or gaining confidence… We'd like to introduce you to our brand new SPEAKING SCHOOL. 

Go to artofcoaching.com/speaker for information and to sign up for our FIRST event!

We’d also like to formally introduce our newest podcast partner- Dynamic Fitness and Strength! 

Dynamic is Brett’s go-to strength equipment manufacturer. Dynamic’s equipment is fully customizable, designed just for you and your team, and made in the heartland of America. If you are looking to outfit your home gym or weight room visit mydynamicfitness.com to get started. Tell them Brett and the Art of Coaching Team sent you.

E204 | Amira Mansour: Starting Your Own Coaching Business & Managing the Voice in Your Head

It’s easy to let circumstances and self-doubt get in the way of our desires. But it’s not just our desires at risk- self doubt could be holding us back from creating change, advancing in our career or worse, getting in the way of our relationships.

Today’s guest Amira Mansour helps us understand that to create change you don’t have to get rid of the negative voice inside your head but rather recognize and reframe our thinking before it gets louder. 

Amira is a communication coach and conflict expert based in the UK who obtained her law degree and spent the first 12 years of her professional life in the corporate world before making the jump to starting her own coaching business. 

Like many coaches, Amira found her calling because of the adversities she’s had to overcome.  

In this episode we discuss:

• How going out on your own starts with a conversation with yourself 
• Creating self-value from negative self-talk
• Impostor syndrome: How you can be the expert but still have something to work on 
• And much more…

Connect with Amira:

• Via Instagram: @the_communicationexpert

Quick shout-out to our podcast partner LMNT. LMNT is our go-to hydration product. With no sugar and no additives, LMNT is how I manage to maintain my voice when speaking for 16 hours and traveling every other weekend of the year. Right now, they are offering you a free 8-flavor sample pack (just pay $5 shipping) if you go to drinkLMNT.com/aoc!

Want to learn how to build, communicate or scale your brand? Whether you are thinking about making the leap and starting your own business, have been building for years and need help taking the next step or just want to clarify what it is you do and why it is people come to you, check out our live Brand Builder workshop!

If you’ve gotten value from the Art of Coaching Podcast we’d love for you to spread that with others. Share the podcast with someone who would benefit from listening. Leave a review. Or donate and become an Art of Coaching Podcast Patron!  Any amount truly does help and every cent goes back into running the podcast. artofcoaching.com/podcast/patron/

Support for today’s episode also comes from Dynamic Fitness & Strength. Dynamic offers the highest quality strength and conditioning equipment designed just for you, your space and your budget. Whether you’re looking to outfit your college, high school or professional gym or even just your garage, check out our friends at Dynamic and tell them Team AoC sent you!

E203 | 3 Tips for a More Successful 2022

The new year is here, and traditionally it’s the time we create new goals and set new standards for ourselves. But you know what ends up happening… February rolls around and we lose focus or forget about what we originally set out to accomplish. 

Let’s not drop the ball in 2022. 

This episode is quick and delivers immediately. If you’re the self-competitive type who is never satisfied with your work or someone looking to create even the smallest edge this year, you do not want to miss these three tips for having a successful year.

We’ll be honest, they aren’t groundbreaking but you’ll be hard-pressed to find better advice that you can put into action immediately.

In this episode, you’ll also learn:

• How to lay bricks and make every moment count 
• How to invest in yourself so you minimize big loss
• How to ask for help the right way 

LINKS TO FREE GUIDES MENTIONED IN THE EPISODE 

How To Reach Out to A Mentor: 

https://artofcoaching.com/findamentor/

Advice for Aspiring Coaches

https://brettbartholomew.net/careerquestions/

Upcoming Live Events:

https://artofcoaching.com/events

Want to Get In Touch With Us?

https://artofcoaching.com/contact-us/

Quick shout-out to our podcast partner Momentous: For those looking for the cleanest, best tasting protein and supplements on the market, Momentous is my choice. Their products are for athletes as well as individuals who just want to ensure they are getting enough protein in their diet. Code: BRETT25 gets you 25% off your first order.

Support for today’s episode also comes from Dynamic Fitness & Strength. Dynamic offers the highest quality strength and conditioning equipment designed just for you, your space and your budget. Whether you’re looking to outfit your college, high school or professional gym or even just your garage, check out our friends at Dynamic and tell them Team AoC sent you!

E202 | Why Facts and Logic Don’t Change Our Minds

Why would someone continue to believe a false or inaccurate idea when you are presenting them with plenty of facts and logic? You could not have presented your points more clearly!

Your rationale is sound but perhaps it’s not the lack of supporting evidence failing to shift their point of view, but rather how you presented it…

On today’s episode, Brett is joined by Ali Kershner in-studio for a deep dive into the tactics that will help you get your point across more effectively and give you the best chance to change their behavior. 

Grab a pen and a notebook because this episode is hands-on and loaded with tactical information and strategies you can implement at work, home and anywhere you deal with people.  

You'll learn:

• How to identify the areas you’re stubborn in and need to change
• The different types of persuasion and the impact of each
• How time can impact a person's decision making 
• Gaining perspective through role playing
• The tactics and strategies behind our popular online courses and in person events that you can use to relate to the drive of the individual you are trying to convince 

Right now I’m offering signed and personalized copies of my book, Conscious Coaching for just $10 (50% off the Amazon price). Go to artofcoaching.com/book to get yours (supplies are limited)!

Quick shout-out to our podcast partner LMNT. LMNT is our go-to hydration product. With no sugar and no additives, LMNT is how I manage to maintain my voice when speaking for 16 hours and traveling every other weekend of the year. Right now, they are offering you a free 8-flavor sample pack (just pay $5 shipping) if you go to drinkLMNT.com/aoc!

You can see the full list of Art of Coaching Sponsors and find exclusive offers from each at https://artofcoaching.com/partners/

E201 | How to Reach Out to Someone You Respect and Admire

You’ve been sitting on this draft for months. You want to hit send, but now you’re second guessing yourself… Why does reaching out to someone you respect and admire have to feel so awkward? 

Maybe you’re asking for a job and you’re afraid you’ll get turned down and the relationship will suffer as a result. 

Maybe you're reaching out to someone who has the job of your dreams and you want insight on how they got there, but you don’t want to inconvenience them with trivial questions.  

Either way, you’ll leave this episode with confidence to not only send the email but assurance that you crafted a clear, concise message that the person you're reaching out to will respect you for. 

In this episode:

• How to do your research prior to writing the email
• How to create a clear ask so your message is unmistakable
• How to choose the appropriate medium: email, phone, text, etc. 
• The 3 things the person you reach out to wants to hear
• A sample email you can use a template for your next introduction 

Right now I’m offering signed and personalized copies of my book, Conscious Coaching for just $10 (50% off the Amazon price). Go to artofcoaching.com/book to get yours (supplies are limited)!

Also, be sure to check out our new gift guide at artofcoaching.com/shop - included are new t-shirts, sweats, beanies, mugs and even some graphic tees. If you’re still gift hunting, these are perfect for any coach or leader. 

Quick shout-out to our podcast partners: LMNT, Momentous, VersaClimber, and SAGA. Supporting them supports us and allows us to continue bringing you this content for FREE!

• LMNT: Our go-to on-the-go hydration product. With no sugar and no additives, LMNT is how I stay hydrated when training in the Georgia heat and traveling every other weekend. LMNT is offering you a free pack at DrinkLMNT.com/AOC - give them a try and let us know what you think! (Watermelon salt is my favorite).
• Momentous: For those looking for the cleanest, best tasting protein and supplements on the market, Momentous is my choice. Their products are for athletes as well as individuals who just want to ensure they are getting enough protein in their diet. Code: BRETT25 gets you 25% off your first order. 

• VersaClimber: For the most efficient, difficult, low-impact workout you’ll ever experience, you need a VersaClimber. This will forever be a staple in my home gym. Tell them Brett sent you!
• SAGA: This technology makes workouts more efficient even when you don't have access to weight. Don’t worry about the jargon or the science, they explain it all at saga.fitness. Use COACHBRETT20 for 20% OFF!