The Art Of Coaching

E387 | How to Deal with Defensive People Who Project

Wait... when did this become my fault?

Why do I feel like I’m being indicted? 

That’s not at all what I meant when I said that. 

I have no idea how we got to the point where I’m the one feeling guilty.

We’ve all been in this situation before. You thought you were having an honest conversation—but somehow, things flipped. Now it’s uncomfortable.

You must have said something that offended them… right? 

But did you? 

How did what you said get twisted into that? And now, out of nowhere, you’re the bad guy.

People can be simple, complex, complicated, and convoluted—all at the same time. Sometimes we send a clear input through someone, and because of ego, insecurity, or other unresolved stuff, it comes out the other side as something completely different, leaving them defensive. Now they’re projecting. And now you’re stuck dealing with the fallout.

It’s more common than ever in the world we live in today—so let’s break it down. What kinds of tactics can we use to lower the temperature and get back on solid ground? How can we preemptively shield ourselves and make sure the signal doesn’t get lost in the noise?

In this episode Brett covers:

• What projection is and why people resort to it
• How to frame your words for someone who internalizes everything
• Go-to scripts and phrases to use when things start heating up
• Strategically call out dramatic behavior and get to the root of the pattern
• Setting realistic expectations when someone isn’t ready to face themselves—and you have to choose between being right or being happy

🎤 Art of Coaching Live Events

Let’s be honest—most workshops leave you with a notebook full of tips and no real plan for change. Ours are built different.

At Art of Coaching, you won’t just sit and take notes. You’ll engage in real scenarios—role-plays, peer feedback, video breakdowns, and live evaluations—designed to help you sharpen your communication, think on your feet, and handle tough conversations with more clarity and control.

Whether you’re dealing with a passive-aggressive coworker, trying to be more assertive without burning bridges, stuck in tension at home, or just tired of second-guessing yourself socially or professionally—we can help.

This is potent personal and professional development that actually sticks. No fluff. No filler.

We offer multiple pricing tiers and discounts—reach out at info@artofcoaching.com and we’ll help make it work for you.

Upcoming Workshops:
📍 Melbourne, AU – Aug 23‑24  (The Apprenticeship™)
📍 Phoenix, AZ – Oct 11‑12  (Speaker School™)
📍 Murfreesboro, TN – Oct 25‑26  (The Apprenticeship™)
📍 Charlestown, MA – Nov 15‑16  (The Apprenticeship™)

🔗 artofcoaching.com/events

Real Coaching for Real Life

Let’s be honest—everyone says they want growth, but putting in the work? That’s where most people just stick to what’s comfortable..

That’s why we created a mentoring service built for the real world. Whether you’re stuck on a professional decision, starting a business, writing a book, dealing with pressure at home, or just trying to get out of your own way—we can help.

This isn’t therapy. And it’s not a rah-rah, feel-good session either. It’s direct, tailored coaching from people who’ve been in the trenches—leaders, operators, educators, business owners. Our team of 15 comes from a wide range of backgrounds, so you’re matched with someone who understands your world and knows how to push you forward.

Everyone needs a coach.
We’re here when you’re ready.

🔗 artofcoaching.com/mentoring

Related Episodes:

E313 | How To Communicate With Someone Who Shuts Down or Stonewalls

Follow Us:

Website: ArtofCoaching.com

Instagram: @coach_brettb

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E386 | What to Do If You Want to Change Careers But Feel Stuck, Unsure, or Scared

It can be one of the most frustrating things in the world.

That discontent and confusion about your professional life and where it’s headed.

The feeling that keeps you up at night, scrolling job postings, revisiting all the “what if’s” from your past, and daydreaming about a complete 180 you’ve always thought about, but never acted on.

Staying in this mental space doesn’t just drain your energy, it leaves you lost, confused about your future and what a step forward even looks like.

Whether you’re burnt out, fed up with the bureaucracy, or simply craving a new challenge—
you need definitive clarity about what you want, along with an honest map of the current landscape so you can make the next right move.

This episode will cut through the worry and wishful thinking as Brett lays out:

• How to identify which passion is worth acting on, even when your head is spinning with options
• A framework to pressure-test a career move—so you can dip a toe or get your foot in the door without blowing up your life
• The role of bridge jobs and the realistic steps needed to work your way toward that bigger goal (even if it feels far off right now)
• Ways to break out of the psychological paralysis that keeps people stuck in neutral
• How to bucket your tradeoffs so you don’t let fear creep in, remembering nothing is final

🔥 SUMMER SALE IS ENDING SOON! 🔥

Don’t wait. The Art of Coaching Summer Sale is almost over! No matter your learning style, setting, or any other constraints—take the next step and join our AOC family. Visit artofcoaching.com/summersale to lock in:

💻 30% OFF all Online Courses
Plus an extra 10% OFF when you bundle Bought In and VALUED

🤝 10% OFF all Live Events
This includes The Apprenticeship, Speaker School, Brand Builder, and more.

📱 Art of Coaching Membership
Get insider access to:

• ✅ 20% OFF all courses, live events, and mentoring
  
  
• ✅ FREE entry into our private online community (a $240 annual value)
  

🎯 Whether you’re a coach, leader, mentor, or someone in transition—there’s never been a better time to invest in your development. Stop waiting, take action!

Related Episodes:

E376 | Tips If You Feel Stuck at Your Job and Need a Way Forward

E242 | Annie Duke: Quit! - The Power of Knowing When to Walk Away

Related Resources:

VAU(ED) and Blindspot - If you loved this episode and want to dive deeper, both of these courses were designed specifically for this topic.  And they’re still ON SALE (ACT FAST!)

Follow Us:

Website: ArtofCoaching.com

Instagram: @coach_brettb

X: @coach_brettb

E385 | Tips for Saying What Matters Before It's Too Late

Nothing will haunt you like the things you leave unsaid.

It’s a bold statement, and a chilling one—but unfortunately, most of us know exactly how true it is.

You owe it to them and to yourself to speak the truth about what they mean to you. No matter the regrettable things you’ve said or done to each other... the failures, the absences, the apologies never given, or the love you didn’t express—it needs to get out.

We’ve covered a wide range of topics since launching this podcast, but this one stands out as an evergreen.

It’s a conversation that will withstand the test of time and deeply resonate with YOU.

In this episode, Brett shoots straight from the heart and will explain:

• Why we often don’t say what needs to be said—how assumptions, pride, and fear keep olive branches from growing
• The danger of “safe” silence—and how it can quietly grow into full-blown regret
• How to make sure you’re not leaving yourself out of the conversation by silencing your own positive affirmations
• A practical strategy to turn that charged cluster of emotions and thoughts into something meaningful (SPOILER: Just say it messy!)
• Setting clear expectations and staying grounded in case the message isn’t received the way you hoped

🔥 SUMMER SALE EXTENDED 🔥

Don’t wait. The Art of Coaching Summer Sale is officially extended, but not for long. No matter your learning style, setting, or any other constraints—now is the time to take the next step and join our AOC family. Visit artofcoaching.com/summersale to lock in:

💻 30% OFF all Online Courses
Plus an extra 10% OFF when you bundle Bought In and VALUED

🤝 10% OFF all Live Events
This includes The Apprenticeship, Speaker School, Brand Builder, and more.

📱 Art of Coaching Membership
Get insider access to:

• ✅ 20% OFF all courses, live events, and mentoring
  
  
• ✅ FREE entry into our private online community (a $240 annual value)
  

🎯 Whether you’re a coach, leader, mentor, or someone in transition—there’s never been a better time to invest in your development. Stop waiting, take action!

Follow Us:

Website: ArtofCoaching.com

Instagram: @coach_brettb

X: @coach_brettb

E384 | 21 Questions I've Never Answered Before on Training, Dating, Leadership and Life

E383 | B-Side: When a Good Old-Fashioned Ass-Chewing is the Right Call

Think about the last time you dealt with someone you were trying really hard to be professional with.

Despite multiple miscommunications on their part — and what was clearly laziness, apathy, and them mailing it in — you kept trying to be the adult.

You kept overcompensating for their lack of effort.

You kept telling yourself, “Hold yourself to a higher standard.”

 

But it’s still getting you nowhere.

 

You want to lose it.

You want to let them have it.

But you hesitate — because everything in leadership and communication says “keep your cool.”

 

So the question becomes:

At what point does that restraint stop helping and start hurting?

At what point are you completely justified in going old-school — 1950s dad style — and giving someone a full-on ass-chewing?

 

What You’ll Learn:

 

•How to recognize when it’s time to stop playing nice and start holding the line

•A real-world filter to help you decide when to confront someone directly

•Why giving someone the business doesn’t mean losing your professionalism

•How to hit someone with hard truth — without losing your message or your control

 

Why It Matters:

 

If you lead, coach, manage, or parent — this will give you a concrete decision-making lens for high-friction moments. You’ll stop second-guessing yourself when someone needs to be checked, and you’ll know how to do it in a way that’s firm, clear, and productive.

 

Come see us in:

📍Oakland, CA – July 12-13
📍Melbourne, AUS – August 23-24
📍Murfreesboro, TN – October 25-26

 

Follow Us:

Website: ArtofCoaching.com

Instagram: @coach_brettb

X: @coach_brettb

E382 | Why "How Can I Help?" Isn't Always Helpful and What to Do Instead

“Is there anything I can do to help?”

It’s interesting and unique how we’ve all been asked this question by a spouse, friend, co-worker, or boss—but it never feels like that question leads to you getting actual help. It often feels like answering that question will cause you even more issues. 

But, people are asking it with good intentions, so how can we actually seize this moment and get some relief from the overload?

We’re always told as leaders that we need to delegate, delegate, delegate—so how can we respond to this request without adding to our overwhelm?

In today’s episode, Brett is going to give us all the answers—and much more—to this age-old question we all somewhat cringe when we hear.

Lean in as he covers:

• The psychology and first principles behind why we often decline help—even when we need it
• Cognitive overwhelm—how to reduce it, cut through the fog, and get the help you need
• Practical strategies to truly show up for someone and show you care
• Default requests you can use to get quick results based on their competence and ability
• How to respond with honesty that eases the emotional friction you might feel

Iron Sharpens Iron

You say you want to be the best—then stop avoiding the conversations that actually test you.
This isn’t another feel-good workshop or conference where you can sit back, take notes, and disappear into the crowd.

The Apprenticeship is fully interactive. We throw you into live, role-play scenarios and teach you how to navigate real conflict, difficult personalities, and power dynamics with clarity and control. No fluff. No theory overload. Just gritty, practical reps that expose your blind spots and sharpen your communication under pressure.

Everyone could use some help—and if you're part of the audience we focused on in last week's episode, you'll even earn 1.6 CEUs!  Come see us in:

📍Oakland, CA – July 12-13
📍Melbourne, AUS – August 23-24
📍Murfreesboro, TN – October 25-26

(Im)Perfect Relationship Course

One of our most popular offerings, for the married, divorced, dating, or anyone who wants to show up better in the relationships that matter most.

We cover real stuff: communication strategies, attraction styles, love languages, parenting, money—and yes, even the topics usually left behind closed doors. Nothing’s off-limits.

🗓️ November 3 – December 2
This is a 30-day, 100% online challenge with live Zoom sessions each week.

*Bonus: It’s also our most affordable course—so if you’ve been looking for a low-pressure, high-value way to go deeper with our material (whether you’re partnered up or preparing for “the one”), this is your chance.

Join the waitlist now!

Follow Us:

Website: ArtofCoaching.com

Instagram: @coach_brettb

X: @coach_brettb

E381 | An Unapologetic Call-Out to Those Who Claim to Want to Be the Best at What They Do

This isn’t personal, but it’s been a long time coming.

This episode is aimed directly at the legacy industries of Art of Coaching, Strength and Conditioning, and let’s throw overall fitness in there too. If you work in high performance, physical therapy included, you’re included. 

We know everyone deals with some version of this, but we’re speaking to the world we know best. The message?

Most of you say you want to be the best.

Most of you say you’re “in it for the right reasons.”

But you’re not.

You’re full of shit.

You’ve built a self-serving feedback loop—one that props up your ego and avoids any real discomfort. You’ll do anything but face your actual weaknesses. You whistle past the graveyard, pretending it’s all about the best exercises, protocols, or the next certification. 

You could have the greatest program in the history of the world, but if you can’t work with the humans executing, it means nothing. 

Today’s episode will hit each listener differently. Some will take it as a wake-up call. Others will feel like they’re getting roasted. And a few of you might even hear it as a love letter—meant for a group of talented people who are in desperate need of a gut check.

Turn it up, as Brett pulls no punches covering:

• The massive divide between what people say they want—and what they actually do
• CEUs and continuing education: how they keep you feeding the machine
• Are you really a lifelong learner, or just another body fogging a mirror in the weight room?
• Why real progress looks more like a boxing gym and less like a resort

Let us know what you thought of this episode. Whether you loved it or hated it, we welcome the discourse. Send your feedback to info@artofcoaching.com—we genuinely want to help those in our legacy audience who are ready to get honest and do the work.

The Apprenticeship

You say you want to be the best—then stop avoiding the conversations that actually test you.
This isn’t another feel-good workshop or conference that lets you hide in the crowd.

At The Apprenticeship, we throw you into live, high-stress role-play scenarios and teach you how to navigate real conflict, difficult personalities, and power dynamics with clarity and control. No fluff. No theory overload. Just gritty, practical reps that expose your blind spots and sharpen your communication under pressure.

Because if you can't lead a conversation, you’re not leading anything.

📍Oakland, CA – July 12-13
📍Murfreesboro, TN – October 25-26

 

Follow Us:

Website: ArtofCoaching.com

Instagram: @coach_brettb

X: @coach_brettb

E380 | What to Do When Clients Get Too Dependent

Ever feel like you're coaching on repeat? 

You've handed a client every tool they need, yet they keep circling back with the same issue. 

Or maybe you're working with an athlete who hears everything you say, but nothing seems to land. It’s as if they’re outsourcing ownership of the entire process.

It can start to feel like a rehearsed dance. You say your part, they nod along, and both of you move forward on autopilot. But this doesn’t have to be just frustrating—it can be an inflection point for us. 

In today’s episode, Brett breaks down how to navigate this all-too-common dynamic and use it as a way to better understand what we bring to the table. Because when we hone in on and embrace our unique intangibles—those strong qualities that might even turn some people off—we create opportunities to lead more effectively, grow our business, and stand out in a noisy, boring world where everyone just wants to fit in.

In this episode, we cover:

• No matter what they say, clients come back for more than just results
• Questions to ask a non-responsive client to encourage ownership—without assigning blame
• How to get feedback and gain insight into what sets you apart (hint: it’s not your experience or certifications)
• Determine if there’s a “psychological nutrient” you’re providing—or withholding
• Bonus: An excerpt from Brett’s Observed Absurdity file about department stores, including some hilarious, can’t-miss euphemisms and analogies

The Apprenticeship

If you're tired of struggling through hard conversations or avoiding them altogether, this is your chance to train for them. We’ll put you in realistic role-play scenarios and teach you the frameworks that help you navigate conflict, power dynamics, and tough personalities.

No fluff. No gurus. Just pressure-tested strategies you can actually use—because the best coaching skills don’t perish. Everyone has a coach in their life, and the ability to communicate clearly under pressure pays off in every area—not just work.

📍Phoenix, AZ – June 7-8
📍Oakland, CA – July 12-13
📍Murfreesboro, TN – October 25-26

Retreat. Reset. Recalibrate. RELOAD!

This September, we’re hosting a retreat in Phoenix, AZ—built for those who carry it all. Ten years in the making, this event is designed to give you tools to slow down, recalibrate, and breathe again.

We're teaming up with professionals like Taylor Somerville and Lauren Vestal to introduce breathwork, recovery strategies, and techniques to help you downregulate and bring some peace back into your day-to-day life. You’ll also get space to move, connect, and troubleshoot how to have the tough conversations you've been avoiding—so you can show up for yourself as much as you do for everyone else.

Stay tuned at artofcoaching.com/events and email us at info@artofcoaching.com for more details.

Executive Mentoring That Fits Your Life

Struggling with anxiety before a big presentation? Leading difficult meetings? Trying to figure out how to handle a staff issue, or even a challenge at home? One of our 15 coaches has been there and dealt with that.

This is real-world guidance, tailored to your needs, on your schedule. Nothing cookie-cutter about it.

Every leader needs a coach. The best ones know when to ask for help.

Learn more at artofcoaching.com/mentoring. We’d love to help!

Referenced Resources:

FREE Download: How To Build Trust With Anyone

Article: What Shamu Taught Me About A Happy Marriage

Follow Us:

Website: ArtofCoaching.com

Instagram: @coach_brettb

X: @coach_brettb

E379 | Dealing with Checked-Out Youth Coaches

Coaching youth sports can be one of the most rewarding things you can do, whether you're a parent, a former athlete, or someone who just wants to make a difference. It’s an incredible opportunity to connect with people in a way that can genuinely shape who they become.

Youth sports span the full range—from high-priced, high-stakes travel leagues to your local rec department. From paid coaches with professional experience, to the dad who just answered the 7,000th email asking for help. You won’t find a show that cares more about coaches than this one, so this isn’t one of those episodes that’s here to bash the people who’ve stepped up when no one else would.

What this episode will be is a look from multiple angles, through the lens of someone who’s coached at a high level and is now a parent on the sidelines. 

What does real coaching actually look like? What should a good practice feel like? And how do we make sure we’re giving kids our best—not just for them, but for the people who care the most and invest the most in their development: their parents.

In this episode, we dig into those questions and more, including:

• A no-nonsense breakdown of what good coaching actually looks like—and what it absolutely isn’t
• Quick-hit checklist to help overworked coaches stay focused and run practices with fewer vague corrections, clearer demonstrations, and a whole lot more fun
• Common habits that hijack practice—like overtalking and underengaging—and what to do instead
• A simple, realistic framework for structuring practice time so the most important lessons actually stick
• Creative ways to split the room or field into stations that maximize engagement for every kid, no matter their skill level

🎯 Want to create a coaching environment that truly resonates with every athlete? Check out our free video presentation, Creating the Optimal Coaching Environment, for actionable strategies to enhance your coaching impact.  Visit artofcoaching.com/optimal/ to see Brett’s presentation from the iconic Mamba Academy.

The Apprenticeship

If you're tired of struggling through hard conversations or avoiding them altogether, this is your chance to train for them. We’ll put you in realistic role-play scenarios and teach you the frameworks that help you navigate conflict, power dynamics, and tough personalities.

No fluff. No gurus. Just pressure-tested strategies you can actually use—because the best coaching skills don’t perish. Everyone has a coach in their life, and the ability to communicate clearly under pressure pays off in every area—not just work.

📍Phoenix, AZ – June 7-8
📍Oakland, CA – July 12-13
📍Murfreesboro, TN – October 25-26

Retreat. Reset. Recalibrate. RELOAD!

This September, we’re hosting a retreat in Phoenix, AZ—built for those who carry it all. Ten years in the making, this event is designed to give you tools to slow down, recalibrate, and breathe again.

We're teaming up with professionals like Taylor Somerville and Lauren Vestal to introduce breathwork, recovery strategies, and techniques to help you downregulate and bring some peace back into your day-to-day life. You’ll also get space to move, connect, and troubleshoot how to have the tough conversations you've been avoiding—so you can show up for yourself as much as you do for everyone else.

Stay tuned at artofcoaching.com/events and email us at info@artofcoaching.com for more details.

Executive Mentoring That Fits Your Life

Struggling with anxiety before a big presentation? Leading difficult meetings? Trying to figure out how to handle a staff issue, or even a challenge at home? One of our 15 coaches has been there and dealt with that.

This is real-world guidance, tailored to your needs, on your schedule. Nothing cookie-cutter about it.

Every leader needs a coach. The best ones know when to ask for help.

Learn more at artofcoaching.com/mentoring. We’d love to help!

Referenced Resources:

FREE Presentation: Creating the Optimal Coaching Environment 

Related Episode:

E136 | Dealing With Pushy Sports Parents

E275 | A Parent's Guide to Effective Dialogue With Difficult or Negative Sport Coaches

Follow Us:

Website: ArtofCoaching.com

Instagram: @coach_brettb

X: @coach_brettb

E378 | How to Silence Your Inner Critic and Give Yourself More Credit

This episode is for a very specific type of person. 

Those of you who are hard on yourself, and if you're being honest, it's to an unhealthy degree. The perfectionist who struggles to recognize their own accomplishments, who tears themselves apart over minor slip-ups, and maybe even finds it hard to fully celebrate the wins of others. Not because of jealousy, but because the voice in your head has been trained to fixate on what’s missing instead of what’s been earned.

Maybe you’re not wired this way all the time, but after a big achievement, you felt... nothing. Maybe even a little depressed that it didn’t feel like more. We know many of you in our audience fall into one of these camps—and this episode is for you.

Here’s a little premeditated tough love: at some point, it has to be good enough. 

So how do we move past this all-or-nothing mentality we’ll never win? How can we celebrate our accomplishments without dulling our edge?

In this episode, Brett breaks down:

• The 70% Rule—it’s immeasurable value and how it can be applied in both creative work and business
• How to celebrate milestones while preserving the lessons from when you fell flat on your face
• Who drains your joy, how to cut them out, and the hard truth: you might be doing it to others too
• Ways to be your own hype man without softening your edge
• Practical tools for when you hate your own work—and how to get to the root of why that happens

During the episode, Brett opened up about the various challenges he’s faced while writing his new book. If you want early access to updates, release info, and behind-the-scenes content, follow along at artofcoaching.com/book.

Retreat. Reset. Recalibrate. RELOAD!

This September, we’re hosting a retreat in Phoenix, AZ—built for those who carry it all. Ten years in the making, this event is designed to give you tools to slow down, recalibrate, and breathe again.

We're teaming up with professionals like Taylor Somerville and Lauren Vestal to introduce breathwork, recovery strategies, and techniques to help you downregulate and bring some peace back into your day-to-day life. You’ll also get space to move, connect, and troubleshoot how to have the tough conversations you've been avoiding—so you can show up for yourself as much as you do for everyone else.

Stay tuned at artofcoaching.com/events and email us at info@artofcoaching.com for more details.

Executive Mentoring That Fits Your Life

Struggling with anxiety before a big presentation? Leading difficult meetings? Trying to figure out how to handle a staff issue, or even a challenge at home? One of our 15 coaches has been there and dealt with that.

This is real-world guidance, tailored to your needs, on your schedule. Nothing cookie-cutter about it.

Every leader needs a coach. The best ones know when to ask for help.

Learn more at artofcoaching.com/mentoring. We’d love to help.

Upcoming Live Events:

There’s never been a better time to invest in skills that don’t have a shelf life. Our live events are built to help you think, speak, and lead more effectively under pressure, in any environment. These aren’t lectures. They’re hands-on, challenging experiences with an immeasurable return on investment. We offer three different payment plans and want to meet you where you’re at. If you have questions or want help finding the best fit, reach out to us anytime at info@artofcoaching.com.

Brand Builder
This one’s for the person trying to grow something real. Whether you’re turning your book into a business, scaling your podcast, or running a brick-and-mortar that needs a stronger foundation—we cover it all. Pricing, positioning, branding, managing your team, building out systems. You’ll walk away with clarity and a real plan.

📍Folsom, CA – August 9-10

Referenced Resources:

Article: The Imperfectionist 

E208 | Robert Greene: Mastering Human Nature & Facing Your Flaws

Related Episode:

E259 | Understanding and Overcoming Perfectionism

Follow Us:

Website: ArtofCoaching.com

Instagram: @coach_brettb

X: @coach_brettb